pursuit of demise

I Wish closing the eyes and dozing off was as simple as it used be.
Wish, that constant sound in my mind could be damped down.
Wish, I could unlearn the art of pushing myself beyond the threshold.
Wish, there was a peaceful place in reality like those in my dreams.
Wish, I could stop this cycle of chase and run.
Wish, I could cut myself open and cry till the last ounce of energy is exhausted.
I have heard, in deserts people dehydrate to death…and that death is slow and sweet…sort of a high…everything seems to blur…fade. Everything seems distant..The hot shining sun starts to cool down..and you ask it to emrace yourself…You snap down and let yourself immerse in sand..and without a noise u die.
I wish I die when I am high!